marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
