I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
