Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
