I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
