Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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