I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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