this beer tastes like vomit already
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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