I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
