You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
