is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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