Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
