Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
