Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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