We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
