I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
