You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
