Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
