I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
