I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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