I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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