This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize