yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
