omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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