whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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