what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
