I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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