Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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