I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Randomize
