i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize