I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
