Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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