I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
