peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
she peed on how many people?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
