On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
