It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
