well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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