i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
