you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
