Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
