a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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