do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
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