1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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