doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
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