were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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