I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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