Non-Jews are for practice
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
