This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
