You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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