it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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