oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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