3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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