just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize