Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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