He asked to "fluff my boner.."
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
