I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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