i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
