STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
