TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
