My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
