No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
