East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
