No stitches, just platelets and will power
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
