He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
